Rewrite of the blog post: Words Matter

On June 1, 2009, I wrote this post in the aftermath of the shooting of Dr. George Tiller. I am reposting it with some changes as a response to the shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, and the death of six victims including Judge John Roll and a nine year old child and 12 more injured. There is already a flurry and war of words going on in the media, among the rigth and the left and everyone in between. I felt an edited version of this blog post might be helpful in this time.

When I was a child we used to chant, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me." I most often chanted that when someone was calling me a name. Somehow in some way, if I used those "magic words" whatever hurtful, insulting or hateful things people were saying wouldn't matter.

Truth be told, it never worked. The names hurt, the words were painful for all that I attempted to be strong. Those persons who called me names or laughed at me or mocked me, knew the power they held.

As a preacher for 29 years, I know the power of the word. Words can comfort a grieving soul, words can inspire people to do great things. Words have the power to give voice to deep held emotions and beliefs. Words can share the depth of love and of faith.

Words also have the capacity to wound, to destroy and to incite persons to acts of hatred and violence. In that way, words are not neutral. What we say as human beings matter and matters deeply.

Not all persons are Christians, but followers of Christ have an interesting understanding of the power of words and the Word. In the sermon on the mount, Jesus took the commandments from the Hebrew Scriptures and said paraphrased, "You shall not kill, but any one angry with their brother or sister or insults them or calls them 'fool' is liable." Jesus goes on to say in the fifth chapter of Matthew that what we do in our hearts and minds is just the same as if we physically acted out those thoughts.

When we say hateful, violent words, when we wish ill or death or violence on another human being it is the same as if we actually lived out the action. I believe in a very real way, those who have posted on web sites, opinion lines, those who have passed out flyer's and leaflets, and gone on radio and television spewing hatred, spewing prejudice and encouraging violence have a responsibility when their words are taken seriously and acted upon.

For the past two years, in the midst of an election cycle, all kinds of hateful, vile and violent words have been used between candidates for election. The election was ugly and both sides promoted misinformation. The words hurled back and forth created an environment seemly closed to dialogue and to debate other than to shout down and shut down others.

The past two days comments on cnn, msnbc, fox, Wichita Eagle and Kansas television stations have not surprised me. I find the battle of words continues with insults to others who comment. In the online world where anonymity rules, some people really believe they can say anything they want and it does not matter. The more shocking, the more hateful, the more likely a reaction will occur.

For people who claim the name Christian, words matter. We are held responsible for the actions that occur because of what we say and do. We are called to a higher way of being, one of love, one of peace and one of grace. We can deeply disagree about our faith and how we live that out, but that does not leave any room for name calling, the hurling of insults or anonymous posts.

As a preacher, because I know the power of words, I find myself "filtering" rather than saying things that will had fuel to the fire, and promote more hatred and violence in the world. Words are sometimes "too easy" and I must be careful. A turn of phrase, a cutting edge to my voice, a slightly veiled insult does not promote what I believe is good and true. So, I continue to attempt to use my words to bring peace, love, justice and grace into the world. I know that words will break hearts and spirits. I will not use my words to incite anger and violence. I will lift up the families of all the victims, the community stunned by this senseless violence and all those struggling to heal from their wounds in my prayers as they walk through this difficult time.

I am committing myself once again, to lowering the violent rhetoric, to creating space for deep dialogue and disagreement and reminding everyone, words really do matter.

I am Graced to Serve.

Challenging myself to listen

I had the great joy of watching two of my grandsons last week while their mommy and daddy were having baby brother. Not only was a good time had by all, but grandma and grandpa were exhausted by the end of the two days. A three year old and fifteen month old certainly have an amazing amount of energy and they need a great deal of care.

The weather was lovely and my three year old carrot top grandson was tossing a small football around. The kind of small football that are given out at Friday night high school football games. He said, "Grandma, let's play FOOTBALL." So we tossed the little football back and forth a few times and he looked at me and said, "Grandma, we have to crash."

That had me curious. "Crash?" I asked. "Yes," he said, " you put your helmet on" (and he proceeded to put on a pretend helmet, "and pull it down", then he pulled on the imaginary face guard, and then you CRASHHHHHHH! At this point he can running toward me as fast as his little three year old legs would carry him and pushed me until I went down to the ground.

Crashing was his way to talking about tackling. So, for the next hour, either he or I would toss the football to the other one, and we would race toward each other and "crash" until we were down on the ground. I am not sure what a real football player feels like after a game, but this grandma is still sore. from getting up and down from the ground.

Fast forward to last night. I watched a little Monday night football with my husband. I don't often watch football, but it was nice to have some time with him. As I watched the game I kept thinking about how my grandson and I played on Friday. We tossed the ball, but we didn't "move it down the field." We played catch and then "crashed". We weren't trying to win or play as a team, we were just having a wonderful time.

At one point it occurred to me that a great deal of what I observe in terms of politics, church and even relationships these days is more about "crashing" than actually working together to accomplish something or work toward a common goal or for the common good. Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals, young and old, you name what ever group come running toward each other and push and push until they fall down to the ground. It's "our way or the highway" using that old saying. Somehow we will bulldoze our way through or knock down our opponent, our enemy or those who are different from us.

I wouldn't take a moment away from playing with my grandson, but that game is no way to live life. Human beings disagree, we have deeply held beliefs that others may not share. The problem always arises when we are unwilling or unable to listen to the other side even if we won't ever agree with it. The worst part is that we demonize and dehumanize the "other" so that we do not have to even see them as human, let alone, like "us".

I am utterly convinced that we must find a way to communicate with those who are not "like" us. We have to find a way to hear and listen to the other side. We need to quit using terms like "take back our...whatever", we "will crush you", we are "watching" and labeling people who disagree with us as "traitors" or "idiots" or any other words that hurt.

I know, that for myself, it is easy sometimes to dismiss anyone who doesn't think like me or believe like me or just trust that "I know best." I am sure it is easy for others to dismiss me as well. I intend to try and listen a little more, find a way to question or to disagree in ways that are less insulting and more affirming. If I can accomplish that even once in a while, then I will truly be

Graced to Serve.

Stunned by another Church Shooting

This afternoon, I am stunned by the shooting death of Dr. George Tiller at his church Reformation Lutheran here in Wichita. As a "preacher" I am supposed to have a "word" on everything. As a "pastor" I am supposed to know the right actions, the right ways to deal with whatever might occur. In this moment, I have no words, no actions.

I am shocked, horrified and saddened more than I can articulate. I did not know Dr. Tiller. I, know, he was a doctor that performed abortions in the city of Wichita. I know he has been harassed, belittled and vilified by many who disagree with the premise that abortion needs to be safe and available. As a pastor, I have listened to women who have been in untenable situations. I have held them as they wept and I have prayed with them as they struggled to make the right decision in the midst of pain and confusion. There are times when there are no good decisions, only difficult ones. For many women, Dr. Tiller walked with them through some of the most deepest and darkest valleys of their lives and provided hope and a place of compassion.

Regardless of where one stands on this controversial issue, walking into a church and shooting someone at point blank as he ushered for the morning worship service is beyond comprehension. It is immoral and it is evil. The violation of that sacred space will take a long time to heal. That congregation has stood up to the forces of hate and bigotry before. Now, they walk through grief and pain and shock and a sense that no place is secure.

My prayers are with Dr. Tiller's family, friends, patients, co-workers and with the Reformation Lutheran Church. I pray God's strength and comfort on the pastors at Reformation Lutheran, Rev. Lowell Michelson and Rev. Kristin Neitzel as they embody God's grace for their congregation. Mostly, I pray for a stand against senseless violence. I believe we need to find better ways to disagree on difficult topics. People of faith can and do often disagree on issues. Killing each other doesn't make things any better. In fact, it makes them worse. Learning to disagree deeply and faithfully does not include name calling, belittling, harassing or vilifying.

I am sure I will ponder and post more later.

In the meantime...

I remain

Graced to Serve